Treatment
The doctor's office called and August 4th, 2010 my husband was scheduled for his prostatectomy. This was our date where life as we knew it would change. Jim & I were married October 24th, 2009, so we are newlyweds. Finding out about the cancer was not only devastating, but what about our lives as newlyweds? For men, taking away their future of having a sexual relationship is huge!! Many men base their manhood on how they perform. This is something that Jim still struggles with today.
Jim and I have discussed this in great detail. For me, I need Jim alive and we can worry about our sexual life later. About two weeks before surgery, Jim sat me down and looked into my eyes and said, "I am giving you a way out. If you want to leave, now is the time and I understand if you do." How could I leave the man that I love and married just a few months before?? I looked at him and said, "If I was in an accident and could not sexually perform anymore, would you leave me??" He said NO! I said, "Then you have your answer!" I am dedicated to Jim and would not leave him because of this. This is the time he needs me the most! As the time for surgery comes near, we make love the "normal" way one last time and cry in each others arms for what we are going to lose. Now it is time to focus on the surgery.
Surgery Day: We had to be at the hospital at 5:30am. The surgery was scheduled for 7am. As Jim was being wheeled away, I bent over and gave him a kiss and told him how much I loved him. Then it was time to wait. The surgery took three and a half hours and I didn't know what to expect once I saw him. The doctor had explained that the surgery would be done pretty much upside down. This allows gravity to pull the organs away to get to the prostate. The doctor said that Jim's face may be quite swollen because of it, so I didn't know what to expect. The doctor came to get me and told me everything went well and that he didn't realize how big of a guy Jim was. I went to the recovery area and to my surprise, he wasn't swollen, just didn't have much color in his face. As the two male nurses were pushing the bed to his room, Jim was talking to both of them about making sure they had their prostate checked. Even groggy, he was being an advocate for prostate cance. One of the nurses told us that he had his prostate taken out three years ago with the same surgeon and he was cancer free.
We went to the room and got situated for the night. As Jim started coming out of his grogginess, he realized how serious this surgery was. This was no picnic. Even though he was not cut wide open, he was very sore. I tried to keep him as comfortable as possible throughout the night. The nurses were there if we needed help, but for the most part, I helped him to the bathroom and took care of whatever he needed. Jim was discharged the next day with a Foley Catheter in and some good pain medicine. Thank goodness he had taken some before he left the hospital, because driving a F250 pickup truck home was kind of bumpy. I guess you do not realize it until you have had surgery! Now we were homebound to start the recovery process, which at the time we didn't realize would be such a long one.
Jim and I have discussed this in great detail. For me, I need Jim alive and we can worry about our sexual life later. About two weeks before surgery, Jim sat me down and looked into my eyes and said, "I am giving you a way out. If you want to leave, now is the time and I understand if you do." How could I leave the man that I love and married just a few months before?? I looked at him and said, "If I was in an accident and could not sexually perform anymore, would you leave me??" He said NO! I said, "Then you have your answer!" I am dedicated to Jim and would not leave him because of this. This is the time he needs me the most! As the time for surgery comes near, we make love the "normal" way one last time and cry in each others arms for what we are going to lose. Now it is time to focus on the surgery.
Surgery Day: We had to be at the hospital at 5:30am. The surgery was scheduled for 7am. As Jim was being wheeled away, I bent over and gave him a kiss and told him how much I loved him. Then it was time to wait. The surgery took three and a half hours and I didn't know what to expect once I saw him. The doctor had explained that the surgery would be done pretty much upside down. This allows gravity to pull the organs away to get to the prostate. The doctor said that Jim's face may be quite swollen because of it, so I didn't know what to expect. The doctor came to get me and told me everything went well and that he didn't realize how big of a guy Jim was. I went to the recovery area and to my surprise, he wasn't swollen, just didn't have much color in his face. As the two male nurses were pushing the bed to his room, Jim was talking to both of them about making sure they had their prostate checked. Even groggy, he was being an advocate for prostate cance. One of the nurses told us that he had his prostate taken out three years ago with the same surgeon and he was cancer free.
We went to the room and got situated for the night. As Jim started coming out of his grogginess, he realized how serious this surgery was. This was no picnic. Even though he was not cut wide open, he was very sore. I tried to keep him as comfortable as possible throughout the night. The nurses were there if we needed help, but for the most part, I helped him to the bathroom and took care of whatever he needed. Jim was discharged the next day with a Foley Catheter in and some good pain medicine. Thank goodness he had taken some before he left the hospital, because driving a F250 pickup truck home was kind of bumpy. I guess you do not realize it until you have had surgery! Now we were homebound to start the recovery process, which at the time we didn't realize would be such a long one.